Summer Love
by Regina Del Serpente
Summary: Made by the students of Candlelit Craft (a club called HP4eva at www.bolt.com) it's funny. It involves Teen Girl Squad quotes, pirates, Hawaii, shirtless wrestling, and making death eater babies. That Potter kid does not appear in this fic mwahahaha!
1. Partying at The Three Broomsticks

Hahaha! Ok, if anyone ever goes to www.Bolt.com and join an RPG club called Harry Potter Forever, you'll find the following people:

  


Arwen_24601 (Arwen, Head of Slytherin)

Polikwaptiwa (Manda, Slytherin)

Gemini_1212 (Gem, prefect of Slytherin)

BookWormBabe521 (Syd, prefect of Hufflepuff)

Koala_baby (Becca, Head of Hufflepuff)

LaFemmeImmortal (Kay, Slytherin)

peace_bubble (Carrie, Gryffindor)

mission_myst (Damian, Ravenclaw)

cheepoo16 (Kirsten of Gryffindor)

Luvin_MxPx (Summer of Slytherin...that's me ^_^)

  


Arwen owns a shop in the Hogsmeade club called Madam Arwen's Apothecary. In that store, we all decided to make up a story about me marrying Severus Snape. We started a fic, not knowing exactly what to expect. I thought I'd post it in here, only because it's one of the funniest things I've ever read :)

  


*NOTE- There are some jokes in here about a lil online comic called Teen Girl Squad. Go here to see it (it's really funny): 

  


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_"Summer Love" _

  


An original composition by whoever contributed!

  


******

  


It was a lazy summer day; the sun was out, the birds were singing, and Arwen, Gem, and Summer were hidden away in their dungeon common room. Summer was staring at her latest purchase, A Guide to Medieval Sorcery, and murmuring some incantation under her breath. Gem sat in a big comfy chair in the corner, reading her copy of Moste Potente Potions, and smirking. Arwen sat by the fire rapidly knitting a very colorful scarf. 

Arwen looked up and sighed, and packed up her knitting materials. "Hey-do you guys wanna come down to my shop with me? I gotta check on it."

"Mmmkay" said Gem, shutting her book.

"Sounds good" said Summer, standing up and stretching.

The three headed out of the common room and up the dungeon stairs. In the entrance hall, they met Syd. 

"Hey Syd, waazup?" asked Summer.

"I was just headed to The Three Broomsticks for a drink." replied Syd.

"Great-we're going to Hogsmeade too."

  


And the four girls headed out. Heading towards the shops, they saw Professor Snape walking into Arwen's Apothecary. Summer stared after him. Breaking the silence, Arwen said, "Well, it looks like I'm finally doing some business!"

And the others followed her to the shop. They entered and saw Snape hovering like a bat over the barrel of snake fangs. 

"Uh, anything I can help you with there, Professor?" asked Summer stepping forward.

"No, and do you even work here?" responded Snape coldly.

"Well I…I know quite a deal about potions!" said Summer defensively as she backed away, turning red…

Meanwhile, Arwen and Gem were trying to persuade Syd to stay.

"We'll go to The Three Broomsticks later," Gem told her. "Just wait here with us for a while." Syd nodded her head, and Arwen snickered.

"What are you laughing about?" asked Syd.

Arwen pointed over towards Snape and Summer.

"Aha!" said Gem. "I KNEW it! Summer has the hots for Snape!"

"Eww..." said Syd. "I know you're Slytherins...and you probably think he's cool...but ewwww...he's like 40 years older than her."

"Yeah that is kinda creepy," Arwen agreed, and she stopped snickering. Her amused face quickly turned to a look of disgust. Gem, however, was still smiling brightly.

"I think it's cute," she replied. "Snape could use a woman."

"Yes," said Syd, "a WOMAN. Not a teen girl."

"Meh," Gem shrugged. "It's still cute."

Arwen and Syd both shook their heads at Gem. They all turned around as a sound was heard coming from the door of the shop. They each smiled, hoping that it was a customer, but alas! 'twas just the wind. Arwen looked out the window. A tumbleweed skidded past the shop. "Man," she said with a sigh. "We need more people in here."

"So let's have a party!" said Syd. "Dancing, potions, music...s'all good!"

But before either Gem or Arwen could respond, they heard something that literally left them guffawing. It came from Summer and Snape. The three girls turned around only to see....

  


Amanda sitting in the corner. Yes. She had returned.

"Where have you been," Summer demanded.

"Oh a mission given to me by the Dark Lord," Amanda said as she strightened her robes, "I come back and here that you wanna get it on with Snape. I should have stayed away."

"I don't want to 'get it on' with him...I don't think," replied Summer.

"Whatever...we have a party to plan. Perhaps you can woo him there," Amanda said.

She then turned and yelled at Gem, "Put your sandwich board back on DAMNIT!"

"I most certinaly will not!" Gem almost screeched at Amanda. "Do you KNOW how big my hips look with that thing on???"

"Yes, I do. Exactly why I'm going to force you to put it on!" Amanda said, starting to take a run for Gem.

"eep!" Gem exclaimed and went running behind Syd. 

"You can't make her wear that thing! I dont blame her for not wanting to wear it..." Syd said.

"Oh - but we could make her if we wanted to..." said Arwen. "We just need a bit of glue" - she picked up a thing of Krazy Glue - "and a bit...of cooperation..."

  


"We could put one on both of them! Extra Advertising for your shop, Arwen!" said Amanda excited.

"Oh yes! Lets!" Arwen said. And with that, Arwen and Amanda started Chasing Syd and Gem around with krazy glue and pice pieces of - er - wood? cardboard? whatever sandwich boards are made out of. Syd going this way, Gem going that, everything starting to get rather crazy.

"Alright, snapey-poo - nows our chance..." and with that Summer and her, er, snapey-poo sneaked out the door.

The next thing you know...

"Hold it!" yelled Gem. "I thought this fic was about Summa, not trying to get Syd and I to wear those stupid sandwich boards again!"

"Yea, well-" Amanda said

"Wait!" screamed Syd. "Where'd Summa and Snape go?"

"Crap, we gotta find em!" Arwen said.

"Why?" Asked Amanda whilst rummaging through a barrel of lacewing flies. "Didn't Summa want some 'alone time' with Snape anywho?"

"It's Professor Snape to you" Snape snapped, walking out of the backroom.

"Uh.. Professor? What were you doing back there?" Arwen asked tentatively. But before he could answer, or make an excuse not to answer, Summer also walked out of the backroom, her face a little pink.

"I'm just going to the TTB real quick guys, I'll be back later," she said quickly and made her way towards the exit. Then she stopped and turned around "Coming Severus?" she asked, blushing even more. Snape looked slightly confused but then followed Summer out the door. Syd, Arwen, Gem, and Amanda, just stared with open-mouths.

The Apothecary's door closed with a bang and Arwen fell to the floor and began to shake. 

"OMG Arwen are you alright?" asked Gem as she knelt beside Arwen. Upon closer inspection, however, the three girls saw that Arwen was really just giggling madly. Amanda began to laugh so hard tears came to her eyes. 

"This is too funny to be true!" cried Amanda.

"Yeah it is." said Syd, somewhere between disgust and amusement.

"Ok guys," began Arwen, finally getting up off the floor, "Time to do some spying."

"But isn't that wrong?" asked Syd.

"Yeah." said Amanda. "Hey Arwen-I've got an invisibility cloak we can all fit under."

"Excellent!" said Gem. So Amanda whipped out the cloak which she apparently carried around with her, and the four girls got under it. Moving towards the door, Syd looked back. 

"Hey Arwen, I didn't know you had a back room."

"Me either," shrugged Arwen, "I guess it's there when ya need it!"

So the girls made their way to the Three Broomsticks and when they entered, it was as crowded and noisy as ever. Suddenly, Gem screamed "JACK" and threw off the cloak. Arwen, Amanda, and Syd watched in bewilderment as Gem dashed up to the bar and hopped up on a stool next to Pirates of the Caribbean's Jack Sparrow.

"Ooookay." said Amanda. Then Syd nudged Arwen and Amanda and pointed. In the corner sat Snape with a beverage of an alcoholic nature. Chica was standing next to him talking, and then she gave him a pat on the shoulder and went back to the bar. The three girls pulled up chairs and sat down across from Snape…

The three girls remained silent as Snape began to cry. He shook his head, guzzled his alkeyhol, and pounded the table with his fists. Chica quickly returned.

"Oh, there there, Sevy-wevy!" she said, patting him on the shoulder again. "Are you ready to tell me what Summer did to you yet?"

Snape sniffled back tears and slightly nodded his head. Looking back up at Chica, he replied in a very shaky, forlorn voice, "She rejected me!"

"Rejected you?" asked Chica. "Rejected exactly, erm...what...of you?"

"Oh don't act like you don't know," Snape answered darkly.

The three girls under the invisibility cloak stood silent and still, awaiting the rest of the tale.

"Um..." Chia replied uneasily. "You do know that Summer's barely even 17 years old, right?"

"Yes," Snape sighed dreamily, "But she's so mature and sexy for her age."

Chica and the three girls under the invisibility cloak all shuddered and had the urge to leave Snape alone. "What a weirdo," Manda mouthed to Arwen and Syd.

"Um, sure," chica replied, "but she's not legal. She's jail bait, mate."

"Well she seemed eager to be with me during detention," Snape replied with a sniffle.

Chica didn't reply, but had a ghastly look upon her face. "Well," she replied, "Summa's always been lacking in moral fibre..."

"But she sure knows a lot about the Polyjuice Potion," Snape replied with an oddly shaped smile upon his face.

"That's hardly a substitute," Chica replied slowly.

Snape downed the rest of his drink. Chica quickly stood up to get him another one.

*1 hour later*

"AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THIIING!" Snape sang, trying his best to sound like Steven Tyler. "Cuz even when I dream of Summa, the sweetest dream would never *hiccup* dooooo....noo no no nooooo..." He was very drunk, leaning against the three broomstick's kareoke piano.

"Poor guy," said Manda, a look of pity upon her face. She, Syd, and Arwen were no longer under the cloak. They were sitting at a table, watching Snape pour his heart out with the rest of TTB's customers.

"I wonder what's up with him and Summer," said Syd, shaking her head with confusion. "She must have really played him."

"Well, she's quite the playa," said Racy A.

"Playa?" said Summer, walking up behind their table. "Wouldn't be talkin about me, now wouldja?"

"No," Manda, Syd, and Arwen all quickly replied. They looked around at one another with guilty looks.

Summer ignored them, however, and looked up to the stage. "Oh no..." she muttered as she saw Snape singing loudly into the kareoke microphone.

"Summer," asked Arwen, "What did you do to the poor man?"

Summer took a deep breath and replied...

Just as Summer opened her mouth Amanda realized that Gem was still at the bar. 

"Hold on...I need to get Gem."

She walked across the room and screamed, "Step away from the pirate!"

Gem jumped up. 

"Er...why...I mean. Oops. Wrong Jack, eh?"

"Yes," Amanda replied, "Wrong Jack. You get the monkey...I get the hottie. Savvy?"

"Yes ma'ma," Gem said.

"Good. Now then, Jack you run up to the castle...I'll be along shortly. Gem, Summer's in a bit of a love...triangle or something. We need to help her."

And so the girls went back to Summer.

"Well", Summer began, "It all began when..."

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The suspense begins!

  


-Summer :)


	2. The Scandal

Here's the second chapter: (Chica is the owner of The Three Broomsticks, and has the screen name Chica_deee....she's also head of Gryffindor....just incase some of ya were wondering ^_^ Also, the name of the school in the club is Candlelit Craft, not Hogwarts lol)

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"...I stole his gummy bears."

Syd gasped, Amanda fainted (feinted?) into Gem's lap, and Arwen burst out laughing and fell to the floor.

"You stole his…his gummy bears?" Arwen said, still laughing rather loudly, drawing attention from all over the Three Broomsticks

"I just meant it as a joke! But he obviously took it personally…" Summer said with her bottom lip slightly quivering.

"But then what was all this talk about him saying you had rejected him…" said Syd, while Gem was hauling Amanda up to the bar calling for chica to get the biggest bucket of water possible.

"Oh, heh…that…" Summer said as she strummed her fingers nervously on the table and stared at the ceiling. 

Arwen, who had overcome her laughter, and was now sitting back down in her seat, started to say something, when Amanda marching back with her robes and hair soaked, Gem following behind her also looking very wet.

"What happened to you two?" Asked Summer, happy to have another topic of conversation instead of her and her Snapey-poo.

"Miss Gemius here decided to dunk me in a basin of water…" Amanda replied tartly. "To make me wake up apparently…so I decided that if I was going to be wet," Amanda sat down , making the chair go *squish*, "Then she was going to be, too. So I pulled her in!" 

Gem was now sitting in a chair with her arms crossed and looking away from Amanda, looking very perturbed and annoyed. She looked at Syd and said "I was only trying to wake her up…she fainted right on to me!"

"Did not!" screamed Amanda.

"Did so!!" screamed Gem back.

"Anyways!" Arwen yelled which stopped the two arguing. "Summa! Give us the scoop on what happened between you and Snape! It can't just have been over gummy bears!!"

"Oh alright…if you insist…"

But Snape interrupted before Summer could start…

"The SOOOOOUUUND of your voice…. Even if you're not with me… I'm WIIIITTTTH YOOOOOU!!!" Snape screamed, doing karaoke to Linkin Park. He then collapsed on the table, making it break and Summer, Syd, Manda, Gem, and Arwen jump.

"What the friggen wrighsodfhsn.drjgh.zkjfghf??!?!?!" Chica screamed and rushed over to get Snape away. She waved her wand and the table flew back together.

"Sorry everyone," she said "Snape's had a rough day…" she said, and nodded her head ever so slightly to Summer. She then dragged Snape away to the bucket of water Gem and Amanda had just left.

"My life… my pride…. is broken…" he mumbled while being dragged by chica.

"More than your pride will be broken soon if you don't start walking!" chica said, and slapped him over the head with her wand.

"So, tell us already! What happened?" Amanda asked excitedly.

"Well, ya see it's like this." Summa said slowly. "You know that one time when Arwen gave us that assignment about truth serums and I sneaked out of class to talk to Snape?" 

Everyone nodded knowingly, and Arwen pretended to be surprised.

"After class, the full effects of the serum hadn't gone away. I could answer questions that weren't yes or no, but I still had to answer questions truthfully that were yes or no. So I went to go tell Severus-er-Snape Thanks for helping out with it, and he asked me a most unexpected question."

At this point, everyone was listening so intently they didn't notice anything. Syd actually fell off her chair and laid there awhile before she realized where she was and sat back up.

"He asked me if I thought he was hot."

Arwen screamed, Amanda fainted again, Syd fell off her chair, and Gem… well, she couldn't really do anything except crack up because Amanda knocked her down.

"And what did you say?" asked Arwen.

"Er.. well… you know I had to tell him the truth… so…"

"You actually told Professor Snpae that you thought he was hot?" Gem asked skeptically.

Summa got this weird smile on her. "Yea."

*awkward moment where nobody talks*

"So…. How did you reject him?" Syd inquired, not really wanting to break the awkward silence.

"Well..." Summer continued, her face turning as bright as a tomato. She took a deep breath. "He and I talked for a while..."

"How long is a while?" Amanda asked, awaking once again and standing up.

"Like...a few hours," Summer replied shyly.

"A few hours is how many hours?" Gem asked, still giggling slightly.

Summer couldn't hide her smile. "I saw him at about 11 that night, and we talked until the sun came up the next morning."

The other girls simply gawked at her.

"I didn't know he was capable of such human contact..." Arwen gasped.

"He's a really sweet guy when you get to know him," Summer smiled. She sighed lovingly, and continued. "Apparently he had always thought I was one in a million, too. Ever since I turned the ripe age of 16 he had thought I was...I believe 'enchanting' was the word he used..." 

The other girls all looked at her oddly.

"SNAPE said that?" Syd guffawed. Summer ignored her shock and continued to talk.

"Anyways," Summer continued, "we were talking about how much we liked one another....but I dunno. I told him it was weird. He's my teacher, and my idol. I told him that it'd have to at least wait until I graduated, and if we were still interested after that, then maybe something would become of us..."

"So you basically turned him down?" Amanda asked.

"No," Summer replied quickly. "No, I just told him...we're both in difficult spots in out lives right now. I'm too involved with my schooling...It would just be too hard if we started anything right now."

"Not to mention illegal," Gem whispered to Arwen. Arwen suddenly smiled brightly. She walked closer to Summer and lightly punched her in the arm. "Sooooo," she said with a chuckle, "what were you and Sevey-poo doing in the back of my shop, then?"

Everyone smiled and looked at Summer with anticipation. Summer's eyes widened. She blushed, sighed, and answered....

"Weelll....?" Syd asked.

"Well, we, er, er were just, talking. About how since CandleLit technically doesn't have years, I could graduate anytime now..." Summer responded

"NOOOOOO!" yelled Gem, tipping over the menu that was enchanted to stand straight up. "First you're considering switching to Gryffie, now you might leave altogether? I won't let you!" and she proceeded to cling to Summa's leg

And at that moment, unbeknownst (sp? I dunno, but it's a funny word!^-^)to them, Snape then approached the group of girls, and smacked Gem upside the head.

"Don't you-a-go'n touchin' mah Summmmmmmmmmmaaaa! " He said drunkenly, sounding remarkably like Chica. Then ignoring the rest of the girls altogether, he turned to Summer. "And why you be doin' that? First you be saying that I'm seeexxxxy, then I see youmaking out with Tom Riddle? What up wiv dat?"

Summer turned a brilliant shade of magenta. Well, not really, it's just cool to say that. SHe just blushed really hard ;) "Well, it's not like anything was happening, I just said we'd have to wait til I graduated! And plus, Tom is.. just a friend." 

"With benefits..." Arwen whispered smugly under her breath to Amanda.

"And plus, he's 16, so it's not like it's be... kinda wierd, ya know?" Summa added.

"EXCUSEEEEE MEE!" screamed Snape "That I'm not a 16 you old hunk of burning flesh! But let me ask you this, can he make even a decent Polyjuice Potion? Huh? HUH?" *ka-thunk*

The girls nodded in acknowledgement to Snape's point. Then Arwen stopped giggling and looked serious.

"Wait, wait a sec. You made out with Tom? WHEN?" Arwen stood up and knocked her chair over. The girls looked at her and Summer just said lazily "Oh like a week ago. We had a little fling."

"Why do you care Arwen?" asked Syd.

"Cause-well I was trying to keep it secret, but we've been going out. For a month!" fussed Arwen as tears welled up in her eyes. "YOU HOOCHIE! You stole my man!" shouted Arwen as she ran from TTB. Syd looked confused, and Amanda seemed to think it all very funny. 

"But I thought…hmm…what happened to Draco?" Gem asked Summer in a near whisper.

"Draco-DRACO MALFOY? UGH!" Snape's eyes buldged. "You're going out with that little pansy ass? Holy shit, Summer, what kind of scarlet woman are you?" 

Now Summer was getting upset at being attacked. "Well why don't you pull your head out of your multi-colored thong covered ass and wake up, Severus? A girl has to have options!" Summer said in a huff. 

"I dunno Summer, it's not very nice to have three boyfriends." said Syd. 

"Summer," said Snape, standing right in front of her, "pick one of us."

"But…but I…well…er" stammered Summer, looking around for a distraction…

"Hey....what's THAT?" Summer asked in a dramatic voice, pointing to behind Snape and the girls.

"Huh?" they all said, turning their heads away in unison to look to what she was pointing at. As they did, Summer sneakily began to walk towards the door.

"Oh no you don't!" said Arwen, running after her and tackling her to the ground.

"Ouchie!! Racy A, quit it!" Summer said as Arwen struggled to put Summer in a headlock. 

"Did he say that he loved you???" she asked with a hint of insanity in her voice.

"Tom?" Summer asked warily. "Well, yeah, but-"

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!" Arwen cried, like a wolf howling at the moon. "He loves me! He said so! He doesn't love you!"

Summer was finally able to stand up. "Oh, heeelllll no!" Summer said, snapping her finges across Arwen's face. "He don't want no trash like you." Gem, Snape, Manda, and Syd all began to boo at Summer. "Aaaaand what?" Summer yelled bakc at them. "Ya'll don't know me! Yeah, you wanna peice'a'this?"

It was then that Arwen picked up a steel folding chair and hit it across Summer's back.

The crowd cheered. "JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"

The TTB security guards broke up the fight, having to physically restrain the two girls.

"WENCH!" Arwen screeched as she was pulled away. "WEEEEEEEEEEEENCH!" The guards took her out of the store, and were threatening to do the same with Summer.

"No!" said Snape, walking briskly towards the two. "She can stay."

"Says who?" said a rather cheeky security guard.

"Yo momma!" replied Gem. "And bring back Arwen, too!"

"No need for that," Snape replied darkly. "She hurt you." He reached out his arm and caressed Summer's left cheek, where there was a large bruise form Arwen's wrathful fists. 

Gem swooned. "I wonder if he was that romantic when he was younger?" she whispered to Syd and Manda. The girls watched on.

The guards, eventually learning that Snape was a respectful staff member, released Summer. She stood alone and beaten, looking to Snape, who was looking right back at her. "Thanks," she whispered.

"You'll have to choose now," he replied. He took her hand in his, ignoring the disgusted noises coming from other students in TTB. "It's me, or Tom...or Draco."

"Or Krum," said Manda. "Summer always used to hook up with Krum in the older Slytherin fics."

"Or Lucius Malfoy," added Gem. "She had an infatuation with him for a while, too."

"And Terrence Higgs," added Syd nonchalantly. 

"And Marcus Flint," added Manda with a wicked smile.

Snape's face twisted into a scowl. "KRUM?" He spat. "But he's foreign!!! AND duck-footed!"

"There there, Billy," Gem said softly, walking towards Snape and taking a hold of her arm.

"My name isn't Billy," Snape replied in confusion, pulling his arm away from Gem's. He looked back to Summer. "Choose," he said quietly.

Summer once again was looking for a way out of the situation. Her prayers were eventually answered. Gem, Summer, Manda, and Snape all suddenly grabbed at their left forearms with painful expressions on their faces. Summer lifted up her sleeve to reveal a thick, black, Dark Mark tattooed onto her arm. Voldemort was calling a meeting.

"Can I come?" asked Syd excitedly.

"But...But you're a Hufflepuff," Snape replied slowly.

"She can come," Manda replied hastily. "Just pretend that you're a Slytherin and they won't hurt you. Act like a bad-ass."

Syd looked unsure, but nodded her head in agreement anyways. She tried to put a mean, togh expression on her face. "Boo yeah," she said.

"Racy A will probably be going to it, too," said Summer. "We should show up before she does. I don't want her talking trash about me to Tom." 

And with that, they all disapparated to wherever the Death Eater meeting would be at....

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lol I feel sorry for those who have never been to the club. It must be so confusing for you! Well join it (and be sorted into Slytherin hehe) and you'll understand :)

  


-Summer


	3. To the Pirate Ship!

The third chapter....

  


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They all apparated to... somewhere. 

"Er.. where are we?" asked Syd.

"Well, we're in some alley, in..." Summer squinted her eyes "Alabama." she finished, pointing to a sign that said 'Welcome to Alabama'

"OK.. but where is everybody else?" asked Snape.

Then, some 20 or 30 people apparated there, making a loud 'POP' that made Manda fall down. 

"You jus like falling down don't you?" asked Gem. Manda gave Gem an evil look.

"Hey, get offa me!" said Arwen, because Lucious Malfoy was laying on top of her.

And after all 20 or 30 people untangled themselves, Voldy himself appeared.

"So... waz up?" he asked.

"Er.. Why did you call us here?" asked Snape.

"WAS I TALKING TO YOU?" yelled Voldy

"Can we move somewhere... else? like, not somewhere muggles can see us?" Syd asked.

"Who the hell are you?" Voldemort replied, looking her up and down and making her feel uneasy. "Well, nevermind, let's go somewhere else I guess" 

And everybody followed Voldemort, and he soon found an old abandoned warehouse. He peeked inside to see who was there and quickly shut the door, actually looking scared. "GAH!" he yelled.

"What's wrong? asked Gem, going to see what was in there.

"Er... nothing. Nothing at all. Let's go to a different warehouse." he replied. Manda giggled and pointed at a sign that said 'Giggleville' Arwen, Manda, and Gem snickered. Snape looked confused.

So his lordness apparated somewhere else and the Death Eaters followed. Everyone looked around and saw nothing but the sea in front of and behind them.

"Hey-we're on a ship of some kind!" said Arwen

"Yeah. Wait-OMG JACK!" screamed Gem as she scooted over to Captain Jack Sparrow. 

"What the hell? JACK YOU HOE!" Amanda shouted as she ran up to Jack and slapped him.

"Oi I didn't deserve that. Ladies, please! There's enough of Jack to go around" said Jack, rubbing his cheek where he had been slapped countless times.

"ENOUGH!" bellowed Voldemort from the deck. Everyone jumped, having forgotten their purpose there. All the Death Eaters assembled in a circle around the dark lord. 

Voldemort cleared his throat.

"Now, it has come to my attention that we are all getting old and decrepit. 'Cept me, 'cause I can't die. But I can't have babies either, which is what I want. I want Death Eater children. I called this meeting to ask y'all to start fornicating as soon as possible. I want more loyal followers."

"But your lordiness, can't we just recruit people?" asked Summa.

"NO! I want Death Eater blood in them! So hop to it people, I want to see some serious procreation!" Voldemort finished and disapparated somewhere.

Arwen shrugged. Gem scratched her head. Syd looked scared. Amanda said "I think he's really losing it." Summer glanced at Snape. She walked up to him and the girls heard her say "Severus, from now on, I'm gonna be a one man girl. I choose you!"

  


Amanda snickered and Gem cooed. Snape reached out and gently touched Summer's face.

"My darling, why is your face so burned?"

"Stupid work." said Summer.

"Let me fix you up a nice cream for that" said Snape as he led her to the cabin.

Arwen raised her eyebrows. Amanda started making gagging noises.

Gem turned to the remaining girls and said, "Well come on, let's get us some men like Voldemort said to!"

"I call Jack! Gemm gets the monkey!!!" said Amanda as she scuttled quickly over the where Jack was sitting.

"Oh no...no I dont think so Amanda!!" exclaimed Gem and she scammpered quickly after. So while those two were arguing over Jack, Arwen and Syd wondered how they wre going to get guys.

"Well...theres the rest of Jacks crew..." said Syd as she pointed unwantingly at the corner of the ship at a bunch of sailors drunk off their asses. Most were a bit round about the belly and the average height was shorter then Chica.

Arwen grimaced and looked rather disgusted that Syd had even pointed this option out to her. "Ugh...I dont think so..."

Finally Gem and Amanda decided that Jack wasn't evil enough to reproduce with.

"It's sad really," Amanda said, "You'd think a pirate would be a little meaner..."

"Yea", Gem said with a sigh.

"Hey," Arwen said, "There's always Malfoy."

"Malfoy," Gem, "Isn't he...er...um...gay?"

"Haha, I can assure you that he's not," Amanda said, "But I doubt that we all want to be carrying spawn of Malfoy."

"Can't you just...reproduce with whoever you want and raise them evil," Syd asked.

"This isn't one of our Lord's better ideas," Arwen said, "Manda, you're his heir or whatever...you'd better tell him what's up."

"Tell me what's up," a voice said.

They turned around to see Voldemort back.

"Yaaaaaaay!" Squeeled Arwen. "My boyfriend's back, and you're gonna be in trouble..."

"I'm not your boyfriend," Voldy replied with a scoff. "Tom Riddle, the younger me, is. I have neither the will nor the human charisma to be a boyfriend, or to grow psychologically attached to anything in any way."

"Doesn't that theory go against your diabolical love for yourself and your own corrupt hunger for power?" asked Gem.

"Yeah," agreed Syd. "I'm sure you could grow attached to yourself being the ruler of the world."

Voldemort stared at Syd and Gem. "Well," he sighed, "if you have a better excuse for not submitting myself to having a girlfriend, then I'd like to hear it!"

"You can't reproduce," said Manda. "Isn't that reason enough?"

"I'm sure I could still get my joys from him," Arwen replied with a smile. "Who needs babies anyway?"

"I need babies," said Voldy. "Evil, powerful, Death Eater babies."

"But I'd rather you not get me pregnant," said Arwen, walking closer to him. "We'll just make eveyone else have our babies for us."

Voldemort stepped away from her. "But I never said that you and I would-"

"It sounds like a good plan to me," said Manda. "Find me a vampire and I'll make lots of babies for you."

"Can vampires even have babies?" asked Syd. "I mean...they're dead. Wouldn't their bodily juices be dead, too?"

"Mine are still alive and kickin," said a hearty, sexy, ghost pirate named Zoot. Manda shrugged and walked into the back room with him.

"We have too many back rooms," Gem muttered.

"There's another one over there," said Jack, hinting towards the back room behind him. Gem smiled and followed him into it.

"No!" Syd called after her. "He's not evil enough for you! We need evil babies!"

Tom Riddle, who had been standing with them quietly for the entire time, smiled to himself and went into the back room with Jack and Gem.

"Your real boyfriend's leaving," Syd said to Racy A.

Arwen, however, shrugged, and smiled insanely at Voldy. "Why have a boy....when I can have a MAN?"

Voldemort backed away from her, then began to run around the ship, Arwen chasing after him (hehehe you know how usually it's the pirate chasing around the wench...lol).

Syd slumped down to the deck and sat alone. Gem, Summer, Arwen, and Manda were all off making babies, and Syd was left all alone.

"I wish I was off making babies with a hot, evil dude," she sighed to herself.

"I can help with that..." said a voice from behind her. It was dark, deep, and sexy. Gem turned around only to see...

...Neville LongBottom.

Syd turned around and laughed. "Neville, did you just make that deep voice? Right, what charm did you put on yourself?" Syd grew silent for a second, then asked, "Wait, why are you on a Dark Lord pirate ship?"

NEville looked hurt and pouted. "I can be where I want to be. And I wanted to sound cool."

Syd instantly felt sympathetic. "Aww, you're cool Neville... in your own way..." 

Syd regretted this as soon as she said it, because Neville took this as being hit on and suddenly was grabbed into a big bearhug by Neville.

"Um... Neville... ow... your hurting my internal organs... I would like to keep those please..." Syd said as nicely as possible.

Neville suddenly let go of Syd and fell to the ground. "That'll teach you to go hurting my friend!!" A familiar voice called to the crumpled body. Syd looked up to see... BECCA! Holding out her wand looking slightly intimidating, more silly though, towards Neville, she grinned over to Syd. "Ya alright Syd?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!.. Why are YOU here? I'm confused." Syd said in a confused voice. 

"Well, you see, my PirateoScope was on, and it showed a bunch of pirates here. So I showed up, cause I'm looking for... OOH!!!!!" BEcca interupted herself and started running past Syd to a pirate in a frilly hat. "WILL! Oi!! Remember me! We hooked up in The Three Broomsticks?"

Will Turner turned around and was properly glomped (flying hug that usually send the hug-ee to the ground, in proper anime style) and found himself flat on his back. "'Ello Miss Becca. 'Course I remember you. How have you been darling?"

Suddenly carrie appears from out of the sky. Carrie looks at herwand and around at the surroundings. "Dang what did i do wrong this time??? Last I remember I was Cursing somebody to fly to an evil place?? Oh shit, a shield charm that made it bounce back on me!!!"

Syd...always knew that girl was evil..

"Hey syd what's happ...ohhhh...Did not want to see that, did not want to see that""What's going on?"

"Well," says Syd, "U see we are supposed to be making evil death eater babies at the moment for Voldemort because he has a little bit of a problem, but I think that Arwen is gonna try to fix that, if she can...."*Interuppeted for a brief moment with Voldemort running insanely between the two of us with arwen hot on his heels screaming "Voldy commmmmeeee baccckkkkkkkk....."*

Suddenly Carrie realizes she is still dressed in my whore-ish dress from the TTB, and and is grabbed by a rowdy pirate who just appeared from yet another back room...

Syd grabs out her wand to help but suddenly Neville makes his move (apparently he woke up and heard our whole convo) and starts to hug her from behind kissing her neck. "Syd, I am evil too...we can make evil death eater babies together"

Syd screams...............

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease", Neville begged.

"No...get away. I'm not that desparate," Syd yelled.

"Oy...people...we can't procreate with GHOST pirates," Amanda yelled as she ran out of the backroom.

"Oh...yea," the rest realized.

"Well damnit, now what," said Syd as she tried to pry Neville off her.

"We could clone him, Voldemort," Manda said.

"Oh no," Gem said as she dragged both Jack the pirate and Jack the monkey outta the back room, "You know how well that works."

"For the 10000000000000000th time...the hippo wasn't my fault and for the 100000000000000000000000000000th time...gimme MY Jack," Manda screamed.

"Ok...fine."

Suddenly there was a thunder boom and a voice

"You're not getting it on!"

"Damnit Riddle, we can't...there's no one to get it on with," Manda yelled at the sky.

"Perhaps I can help," said a smooth voice.

Everyone turned around and jaws dropped.

"Lucius Malfoy," Gem said with a sigh.

______________________________________________________________________________

  


Hahaha I wonder how confused you are now....

  


-Summer ;)


	4. Syd and Lucius's Canadian Honeymoon

Fourth chapter:

______________________________________________________________________________

  


With the loud thunderclap, Becca stumbled out of a back room, hair in a mess, corset top half undone, dress up much too high. "I'm working on it!! And Manda, Will isn't a ghost pirate, so BOO YEAH!" Becca looks like she's about to jump back in the room, when she sees the old blond guy. "Eep." She said, quickly straightening her skirt and attempting to pull on the strings of her corset top. (you all know a corset top, right? They tie in the front? Weehee.)

"Why hello... ladies." Lucius said with his smooth, evil voice. Standing like a statue of evil, snake walking stick in hand, he looked down at the girls with a smug look. The girls all gawked at his evilness, and stood with their mouths hanging open.

"What's goin on?" Will asked, his gorgeous, gorgeous, perfect, long (okay, imagination carried away...) hair all messed up as he stepped out the room. Running a hand through his perfect hair, he stepped up behind Becca, asking "Who's that?"

He was rudely interupted by an elbow in the stomach from Becca. "Shhh!!" Becca exclaimed quietly! "Lucius Malfoy! Very evil, and cool, guy!"

"Ahhh"Lucious says, "And who do we have here???" (points to will turner)

Will stumbles over his words "um...I am umm..Will Turner"

"Turner? I believe i met your father...Piss poor excuse of a pirate!"

"Hey, Dont' u talk about my father like that..U wanna fight?"

"No Will don't," screams Carrie(elbows the stupid pirate who tried to grab her in the stomach and he trips and falls overboard..oops)"He's a wizard...He'll KIll u!"

"Not on my watch! DOn't worry willy poo, I'll save u!" Becca screams and grabs her wand(along with almost everybody else on the ship)

"Now, now ladies...I'm not going to hurt this...Turner...boy!...I am just going to help you find a way to make death eater babies. Now which one of you would like to join me???"

Everyone points their fingers towards....

Summer.

"Me?" she asked, walking out of the back room with Snape. "I have Snape. Sorries."

"Damnit," said Lucius. He looked around at the other hot Slytherin girls. "What about you girls?"

They all shook their heads, pointing to their boys.

"Syddie?" Lucius asked, winking at her. Syd smiled seductively. "Yes sir," she said, and they held hands, walking towards one of the many back rooms.

Everyone else looked at one another in confuzzlement. Just then, Draco joined them.

"Ello," he said, winking at Summer. Summer's eyes widened.

"Draco, er yes..." she stammered. "Hello there...um...uh..."

"What is going on here?" he asked, looking at Summer and Snape holding hands. "I thought that you were my girlfriend!"

"You thought wrong," Snape hissed back. "Pansyass."

"What did you just call Pansy????!!" demenaded Draco, stepping towards Snape. "You leave my girlfriend out of this!"

"Pansy is your girlfriend??" asked Arwen, who had given up on chasing around Voldy. "But I thought that you thought that Summer was your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, what the frunk, mofo?" said Gem.

Draco smiled uneasily. "I...er...um...I-"

"YOU CHEATED ON ME?!" Summer screamed. "But I trusted you!"

"But you were cheating on me, too!" said Draco.

"I wasn't cheating, I was having an affair!" Summer muttered, and she turned away from Draco.

"Multiple affairs," Manda laughed evilly.

"WHAT?" gasped Draco. "THERE WERE MORE? But I only cheated on you with one person!!!" He glared at Snape. "Who were they?!"

Every guy on the ship raised their hand. Summer blushed. Snape gave her a disgusted look. "My god," he said. "You're easier than I thought."

"Shuddup!" Summer said loudly. "I'm only with you now, Sevey-poo."

"No, you're not," Snape replied, stepping away from her. "I've decided that I don't want to be with a walking STD. Goodbye, Summa Lova." And with that, Snape disappeared with a loud 'POP'!

"Mwahahaha," said Draco. "Come to papa..."

Summer's eyes filled with tears. "Nooo! Snape, come back! Please!" She tried to run away from everyone, but noticing that there wasn't much room for running around on the ship, she jumped overboard and began to swim away into the horizon.

Summer didn't make it far before her muscles began to ache, so she called back for someone to svae her so she wouldn't drown. No one was going to save her, until Gem relized that Summer was really going to drown, so she called," Accio Summer," and Summer retuned to the ship.

There, Summer met Kirsten, and they started having a convo about both of their many love affairs with famous people...

" Well I dated Severus Snape," said Summer in a sad tone.

"Shoot I can beat that. I dated blah blah blah..."

After awhile people got sic of listening to them compete over who they dated, so Arwen put permanent(until someone takes it off) tape over their mouths. Becca took Summer's tape off almost immeadiately, but since Kirsten is and still is unloved hers stayed on and she was silent....

Then Arwen felt bad for using the tape, and went up to Kirsten and gave her a hug "Aww don't worry, we'll find you a man soon enough."

"Hmm," said Gem, "Syddie and Lucius? Who'dve thunk it?

"Well it's better than Neville." replied Amanda. Gem nodded. Then her mouth dropped. 

"Ahhh! Becca, take that INSIDE for heaven's sake!" shouted Gem; Becca was again making out passionately with Will.

"Oh come on, you can do better than that flaming fruit!" complained Amanda.

"Wait, hold on there, little lady. Are you insulting my crewman?" asked Jack, suddenly appearing in front of Amanda. 

"Yeah. What are you gonna do about it?" goaded Amanda. 

Then everyone groaned and turned away as Amanda and Jack started making out.

Suddenly, Gem remembered Summer: she was sitting by the edge of the boat looking out over the water and crying softly. 

"Summer, you just had too many men for your own good. You know that." Gem said, trying to comfort Summer.

"I know. I know! But it was so much fun, and I just couldn't make up my mind. But I realize now the only one I ever truly loved was Severus." Summer said miserably, turning around just in time to see Arwen walking out of a back room with a goofy smile, and Snape following her. 

"ARWEN YOU HOE!" screamed Summer, looking around for her wand…

"Noo!" yelled Arwen, right before she was petrified by Summer.

"Hey, hey now" said Snape, and tried to pick Arwen up.

"Hahaha! You're mine! ALL MINE!" screamed Summer manically, dragging Snape off into one of the many backrooms.

"Argh" said Gem, because she was on a pirate ship, and wanted to say something pirate-y. "Alas, but I have no man"

"Wrong fic Gem" Manda said inbetween kissing Jack "You talk like that in the Malfoy one."

"ARGH" said Gem again "all these damn fics re getting too hard to keep apart I tell you."

There was a rather nasty noises coming from one of the rooms. Since no one could really remember who was in which room, they just waited til that person came out. 

"I feel soo seasick..." stated Syd "Can we please get off this friggin boat???"

"Of course! My dear," said Luscious, stepping out behind her. He waved his wand and they were all transported somewhere else. But Arwen was still petrified....

Little did Syd know that when witches get pregnant that they get "Morning Sickness" right off the bat..

Carrie looks into the horizon just before everyone is taken somewhere else and sure enough ...the sun is rising...

Boom! Everyone falls to the ground...."Where are we??" several voices say..YIKES..all the walls for the backrooms have dissappears...They all suddenly see flashes of bare skin being covered up.

Carrie opens her eyes and look at where they have landed..."Well Well well..." she sayd, 

we are in ....."THE NORTH WEST TERRITORIES??? But it's SOOO cold!!!"

"Well I can help u with that," a very handsome lumberjack says, but suddenly cheepoo16 flickers her eyes and he forgets about Carrie and saunters over to her...

Suddenly we all realize that Arwen has icicles clinging to her....

And Snape started to cuddle with the stoned (haha, stoned...), icesickley Arwen, petting her hard, smooth head, tear sicking to her cheeks. "My poor, poor Arwenbee...my Ickle Arykins..." and as he continued to mumble endless nothingnesses to the Stone Arwen Statue.

All of a sudden there was another *poof - crackledy - splatacack* and Syd and Lucius popped up from nowheres. Syd was in a rather elegant wedding gown and...and Lucius was wear a...a black tuxedo with a top hat and cane?

"What happened to you two?" Gem asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh! What're you guys doin here??" Syd exclaimed while running towards them, dragging her Lucius with her. "Hurry UP Lucy-Boo!"

"Sydney! I told you not to call me that in public!" whined Lucius, still dragging behind.

"oooh...sorries! would you prefer Ussy-bear? or perhaps Cicikins?" Syd replied with a confident smile and a shake of her head, Lucius seeming to melt in defeat.

"DAD?!" Draco excliamed. "Why're dressed like that, and why is she" - he shoots evil look at Syd, Syd smiles and waved - "wearing something equivalent to a...a wedding gown?!"

"Yea! What ARE you guys doing here??" Becca asked.

"hehehe!" Syd giggled. "We're on our HONEYMOON! Lucius has a log cabin up here ^-^"

"Draco!" Lucius said turning toward his son. "Say hello to my wife! We are now Mr. and Mrs. Lucius and Sydney Malfoy!" he said this with such a smirk, and such a smile that it almost seemed fake. Draco's (and several other people's mouths) fell open. Amanda mumbled something to Becca like "I knew Syd'd make him marry her...he *did* knock her up..."

"WHAT?!" Draco, Summer, Will, Gemm, and everyone else who was there shouted at once. Syd was beaming, everyone else looked as if they were about to faint.

  


"You have GOT to be joking, Syddie!" Gem said grabbing Syd by both shoulders. "You have to be under some potion or spell or something!!"

"You went and actually MARRIED the evil dude??" Summer said, somewhat impressed, somewhat flabbergasted. Lucius Smiling at Summers impression.

"Yea!" Syd said smiling silly-ly, and cuddled into lucius.

Becca beckoned to Summer, Gem, and Arwen and asked, "Does this mean Syd's Draco's mom?" o_O''

Syd nodded excitedly as Draco's face a colour similar to his house colours. Everyone else in the group burst out laughing, except Becca, who hopped around excitedly.

"OOH! OOH! Can I be his godmother?" Becca asked incredibally fast, hopping about. 

Syd laughed and answered "Sure! I bet Dracokins would love that!" Draco just passed out at the word 'Dracokins' however. 

Everyone was laughing at this, and then suddenly, Gem asked, "Dude, Becca, you're in your incredibally skimpy boozewench clothes from the Three Brooksticks party and you're not frozen. What gives?!" 

Becca looked over at the group, all of them shivering and laughing. "I was raised somewhere around here. This is normal for me."

"Oh..." said Gem. She suddenly screamed and yelled, "OMG, a...."

Moose!!! A real live Moose...look at those horns..there so big..I bet they could carry a tonn! Suddenly somebody gets the bright idea to put passed out draco onto the mooses horns....The moose looks up and it's eyes turn to hearts.

"Oh oh"i say..."looks like Draco has a new *special* friend" heehee...

Syd says "Ahhh..isn't that cute...can we keep the moose as a pet Lucy-poo???"

"umm...sure...Syddie..."

Suddenly an ax goes flying by Lucious's head and a lumberjack comes out the woods and says...

"Okay," Summer sniffed. "My boyfriends are all taken now. Can I have the lumberjack?"

All of the other girls nodded their heads yes.

"But I'm a girl," said the lumberjack. "Why are you all dressed like...some sort of...freaky...cult...?"

Everyone turned their heads (except for poor frozen Arwen lol) and gasped. "A MUGGLE!" screamed Lucius. "KILL IT!!! GET IT GET IT!" He hid behind Syd.

"I didn't know that you were afraid of them, Lucy-poo," Syd said slowly.

"I'm not," Lucius pouted, putting his hands on his waist. "But that ones dirty," he whined. "I don't want to touch it! HELL-OOOOO." He scoffed and flung his hair behind his shoulder. Syd gave him a disgusted look, and so did Draco, who was now petting the moose.

"Riiiight," said Becca. "Let's just get rid of her. Obliviate!" She aimed her wand at the lumberjack, but the lumberjack wasn't phased at all. "Did you just try to cast a spell on me?" the lumberjack laughed. "What, do you think you're a witch or something?"

Unfortunately, Becca had held her wand the wrong way...it was backwards. She had just wiped out her own memory. Becca sat up, looked around herself, and smiled. "Who are you?" she asked the lumberjack.

Manda's wrath was inevitable for the poor lumberjack. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" she screamed, and the muggle died instantly. Draco screamed loudly.

"Good aim," the Slytherins complimented.

"Why thank you," Manda smiled, lowering her wand.

  


"Okay..." Snape said, finally walking away from Arwen. "What do we do now? Where has the Dark Lord gotten off to? I could have sworn that he was right here-" Snape's eyes widened before he could say anything more. "OhMyGod! SUMMER!"

Summer was holding hands with Voldemort. "I got a new man now, Severus." she smiled.

"Is it just me," asked Gem, "Or did Arwen and Summer just do a complete...partner switch?"

"But he's old and ugly!" Snape yelled.

"And you're greasy and ugly!" Summer yelled back.

"Burrrrrn!" Peace_bubble said to Snape.

"At least I'm not a slut!" Snape said to her, very calmly.

"Are you implying that I'm a slut?" Summer scoffed at him.

"Yes," Snape replied smugly. "Summer, you are a dirty, filthy, slut."

"Yo mamma," Voldemort retorted.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooh!" everyone else cheered.

"Double burn!" exclaimed peace_bubble.

"Nice one baby," Summer said to Voldy.

"Thanks sugar," Voldy said back.

"But you gotta admit," said Becca, who didn't remember who Voldemort was, or how powerful he was, "that dude is old and ugly."

Voldemort glared at her. "I'm a metamorphmagus," he said. "I only look like this to terrify. But I can look however Summer would want me to look, which is more than I can say for you, Severus."

Kirs walks in from wherever she just was and looks at the situation and laughs...It was just way too funny. 

Since Arwen was still frozen and mission_myst seems to be confused that she can talk, Kirs uses a heat charm to unfreeze her. Incidentally it wasnt a very good charm, so Arwen ended up with little burns on her body. 

Arwen then conjured herself a cloak and started running after Summer screaming, "Imma get you Summer!!!!!!"

They disappeared and everyone just stared in awe at the scene of them running wild across the tundra. 

Then Syd said, " It's way to cold here, we need a new change of scenery." And with the flick of her wand, we were all transported to Beverly Hills.

"Where is Becca?" said Syd.

"Right here!" Becca replied looking angry, because during the change of scenery, her unknown hiding place disappeared and she was yet again revealed.

Then out of nowhere, a really fine guy appeared next to Kirsten.

"OMG Danny? i had no clue you were a wizard.....and I've known you for like ever." she said.

"yup, and I've come to take you home kirssie."

"NEVER say that in public again!!!! And by the way I am so not going anywhere, this is just too fun. You are staying here with us. Oh, this isnt a option it's an order."

Then Arwen and Summer walked by, apparently they settled their differences, but both looked like they had been hit with a few interesting jinxes.

Voldemort pulled Summer aside and whispered to her, ' This is a nice little love fest and all, but I think we should leave and have our own PERSONAL love fest... What do you think?"

Everyone looked at one another and giggled immaturely, but before they could leave......

______________________________________________________________________________

  


dun dun dun lol

  


-Summer :)

  



	5. Shirtless Wrestling and the Legionaire E...

Chapter 5 :)

______________________________________________________________________________

  


...some bears came out of the woods!

"Oh no!" Becca screamed. Then she pointed to the tree just infront of her. "Pooossssummmmsss," she said coldly. A few possums emmerged from behind the tree, baring their teeth. They threw some pan-asian cuisines at her. "MSG'ed!" they screamed. "Ow! My stomach linging!" yelped Becca.

"I'll protect you, Summer," Voldemort said, setpping in front of Summer.

"Um, hold on," Summer said with an evil smile. "First...change into your younger self for me, please? And then take off your robes?"

Voldemort shrugged, and with the blink of an eye, he was transformed into a younger, 19 year old Tom Riddle. He then proceeded in taking off his robes, showing his hot, dark green, silk boxers he was wearing underneath. Summer's eyes widened, and she passed out, a look of absolute bliss engraved into her face.

Racy A looked at him and began to smile, too. In fact, all of the girls did.

"Now, start wrestling the bear with your bare hands!" said Syd, holding back a girly giggle.

"Yeah!" said Kirs, who had to close her mouth to stop herself from drooling. "And then...then...then...we can all make out with you!"

"Yaaay!" squeeled Draco, jumping off of the moose and running up next to Voldy. Voldemort punched Draco in the face. 

Sure enough, however, Voldemort began to wrestle with the bear.

"Hrm..." said Gem. "He might need help with that. Lucius, take off your robes and help him out."

Lucius took off his robes and began to wrestle the bear as well.

Manda smiled wickedly. "Draco, all other hot guys who're here...take off your clothes and help him, damnit! He's your boss for God's sake!"

The other dudes shrugged, took off their robes, and helped Voldy and Lucius. Snape, however, didn't.

"What's wrong, Snivellus?" Voldemort mocked. "Too embarrassed? Afraid that if you take off your robes, everyone will see your multi-coloured thong???"

Snape's lip quivered. "Summer said she liked it."

"No I didn't," said Summer, who had woken up and was looking at the fight with an odd smile upon her face. "I just said that the colour looked good on you. You could stand to wear more colours. Black is getting boring, dude."

"My stomach feels better," said Becca.

And so, the bear fighting commenced. In the mud. Did we mention it was in the mud? Well, it is now.

Well, anyways, it was a wonderful fight. Lots of rippling muscles and flexage and the girls we're happy. Their minds were in too much bliss to remember exactly details.

However, finally, Tom/Voldy got fed up. "Why didn't I just kill it like this?" Grabbing a nearby wand, he pointed it at the bear and yelled "AVADA KEDAVARA!" and the bear died. A round of dissapointed moans come from the girls as the fighting stopped. Voldy, still in Tom form, stepped out of the group of guys, wearing nothing but his boxers, a smile, and some mud. "How do I look girls?"

"SO GOOD!" They all screamed back. Snape then lept out of the group as well, wearing nothing but his multicoloured thong and not enough mud. 

"I'm going for a new look, what do you think?" he asked. "NO GOOD!" the girls screamed back, throwing his robes at him with disgust.

"Yeah, well, I think it's hellatight. And you all need boyfriends." Snape said, pouting, lip wavering as if he were about to cry.

The girls all hung their heads as Snape revealed their need for proper boyfriends. "True dat." they said in unison.

Then Arwen walked over in front of Snape and said "Hey, is that all you girls care about-rippling muscles-a hot body?"

"Psst Yeah!" laughed Kirsten.

"What about a brilliant mind? A good conversationalist? Hmmm?"

"Yeah dat's good too" said Summa.

"Why, thank you Arweenie" said Snape, putting his arm around Arwen.

"Jesus, put some clothes on, man!" Arwen threw Snape's robes at him and ducked away.

"Hey everybody, you know what would stick to that mud nicely?" asked Becca with a huge smile.

The girls shrugged.

"I'VE GOT JIMMIES!"

"Woooooooooo!"

"Boo YEAH!"

So Becca and the other girls threw jimmies all over the hot, muddy guys, so now they were sprinkly, hot, and muddy. Then Syd decided the other girls had seen enough of her new husband. And her step-son. *snicker*. 

"Come Malfoys!" said Syd to Lucius and Draco, whilst snapping her fingers.

"Awww Noooooo" all the girls moaned. Then Danny walked up to the group.

"You must be girls"

"Yeah" said Gem.

"Wanna date?" Danny asked Kirs.

"Hellatight!" said Kirs, grabbing him by the arm and leading him away.

"Aight Ladies, time for some new scenery" said Amanda, raising her wand…

Because the writer of this fic no longer knew where the scene was going, or what the characters were doing, the death eaters & co. all decided to go to Hawaii.

"Why hawaii?" asked Snape.

"Because I said so," said the writer of the fic.

*in Hawaii on a beach*

"Guys!" yelled Becca, who had rcovered from her memory loss for good now. "You know what would make us look SO GOOD?"

"Nope!" answered Kirs.

"Let's get some summer fashions!" Becca added excitedly.

"w00t!" Everyone else replied.

"Boys," said Arwen, turning to every guy in the fic (sorry I don't exactly know who's still there...lol), "You can go get us something at that store over there."

"What?" whined Draco. "But I wanna go find some hot summer fashions!"

"Tut tut," said Syddie. "Ickle Draddycins, it's girl's night out tonight! Now go run off with your little friends! Scoot, scoot," she shooed the boys away, but Draco remained.

"Okay, you can stay with us," said Gem. "But don't act so...whiny."

Draco smiled brightly, and held mamma Syddie's hand as they crossed the street, just for safety.

So the girls began to walk away farther from the beach and to the mall. They ran into some more poooossssummmmssss on the way there. They passed the Radio Shack, which had some toy robots on display in their window. "VOIP!" the robots all said.

"I have an idea!" said Manda. "Let's attract some cute boys!"

So they all posed.

"I have a crush on EVERY BOY!" said Draco.

"Me too," said Summer.

"Yes we know," said Gem. "You've been with just about every dude in this fic, Summer, cept Jack Sparrow."

Summer shrugged. "I miss Kirstennnnnn...a..."

"I'm right here," replied Kirs.

"Oh yea," Summer replied.

So they continued to walk to mall, when SUDDENLY.....

a toucan pecked Summer on the head a few times.

"Ouch! you stupid bird go the f*** away." said Summer all pissed off and scary looking.

She glared at the bird, and yelled at it some more, but stopped and blushed when it turned into Mr. Tall, Dark, and handsome. 

"Hi, Summer I'm the man of your dreams." he said.

"But how...how do you know my name?" asked Summer.

'A little bird shared it with me."

"Oh, but I dont know yours...." said Summer with a look of disappointment on her face.

Meanwhile, everyone was still walking to the mall, and had not noticed that a huge ass toucan just turned into a gorgeous guy. Syd was still walking with Draco, Manda was posing for boys(and she was getting quite a crowd), Gem was looking at all the little shops on the way, Arwen was just being her and anyone I am forgetting has wandered to shop by themselves, oh yeah im just there bc my man is gone.:P

They finally reach the mall and find out that the mall only sells sex toys and such...

"Hell yeah!" says Arwen.

"Yeah it's cool," said Syd, " i can find some good stuff to use on Lucy-poo."

"Ewww," said Draco looking a bit green, " I really didnt need to hear about that, I mean that was seriously an overshare."

"We told you not to come Draco," said Arwen..

Then Kirsten went to the nearest boutique and started browsing. She picked up a........

Kirs picked up hand held vibrating minature broom. She turned round and showed it to Syd. 

"What you think? D'ya think your Lucy-poo might like playing games with it?" says Kirs with a little glint in her eye.

"No more images!" screams Draco, turning an even brighter shade of green.

Gem looks at Summer & notices the gorgeous guy standing next to her.

"Where'd he come from?!" Gem asks, wishing she'd found him first. Arwen hears the question, stops wandering and asks the same question.

"Ummm, I'm not sure - he just turned up" Summer answered slightly confused, looking at the gorgeous guy standing beside her. "Where did you come from?"

"I flew in! I was the toucan remember?! O my names Jack, by the way incase you were interested" replied the gorgeous guy.

"Not another Jack!" sighed Manda, trailing the group of random guys she'd picked up on the way to the mall. 

Everyone heard an odd noise like something vibrating across a glass table. They saw Kirs looking slightly embarrassed as the mini vibrating broom vibrated out of Kirs' hand, on to the table & off across the floor towards the door. 

"Stop playing with the toys" said the shop keeper, getting out a wand to stop the broom escaping for freedom. 

Just then Jess (me) ran in looking around wildly. "I've got 10G to spend on a 1 year anniversary present for my boyfriend, and I was looking to for Kirs to see if she'd help me". Jess stumbles around, for no reason, and........................

falls on top of a glass table! 

"SON OF A %ITCH!" she was bleeding. The shop owneer was steaming. 

"Look at what u did!! Your going to have to pay that! its 100G's!"

"100G's!!! Thats a hell of a lot of money" said Kris "how are we gonna get so much money?!" Everybody started ignoring Jess, who was crying holding pieces of skin on to her arms while taking the shards of glass out.

"Oh stop making so much noise!" said Draco in his whiny voice, "its not that bad, youd have to hear about this one time, when i broke something i shouldnt tell you about cuz my mommas here..." 

"You can break that?" asked Summer.

"oh yeah, it like, bends, a lot. it took the hospital 4 days to fix me." 

"Ewww, thats gross?" arwen replies.

"Haha! did they have to use a microscope" asked summer. Everybody cracked up, even Jess. 

"Anyways, back to the 100G's.." kristen told the manager "Cant u fix it with a spell?" 

"nope," he replied "its magical, so it wont fix with a spell." 

"Damn, God, will you stop your whining!" kris turned to face jem as she pointed her wand at her and said a curse. Jess's face was completly restored.

"OMG!! THANK YOU!!!" she kissed kris's feet, kris had a big smile on her face.

"Ok! wait up" said summer to the manager "Can we pay this to you sooner or later?" 

"i guess, but you'd have to leave something here to make sure you come back." 

"hmm" the whole group said. 

"I KNOW!!!" screamed Syd! "Lets leave Draky behind! he can work as your manslave till we pay the fine!" 

"But...But..." whimpered Draco!

"hmm, that could work, i like that idea" said the manager while winking at Draco.

"No BUTS draky! do as your mamma tells you to!" 

"oh ok!" draco replied looking at the manager., "but only because he's cute" 

They all walked out of the store leaving Draco behind with the manager of the store. 

"Great! now we all have to get Jobs!" said becca.

"Not, exactly" arwen stated "we could...

Just before Jess could spend her 10G at the sex toy shop (or before anyone could buy anything, for that matter), everyone heard a loud pop and the sex toy shop disappeared only to be replaced by a living room. A very large living room that belongs to a grand mansion.

A green-robed young man with flowing white hair stands before a doorway that seems to lead to the upper levels of the mansion.

"Welcome to Legionaire Estate," he says in a handsome voice. His hands are behind him. Only gaping mouths answer him.

Arwen leans over to Syd. "He looks like a younger version of your husband." Arwen whispers. 

"Well, he's not," Syd snears.

"She's right. I'm not. Hello step-mother," the man says. He walks up to Draco and shakes his hand. "Little brother."

"Tiberius," Draco responds. He's got a smile of admiration on his face. But he looks like he wants to hug his big brother real bad as well.

"So why did you bring us here, Tiberius?" Syd asks, impatiently. "We've got better things to do than to hang out here."

"Oh I know, Mother. I know you're still nuturing that baby inside you, hoping that it'll be born to inherit the Malfoy fortune over me. Father seems to favor you very much."

"Oh ho! Son, I'm on my way to that fortune," Syd pats her growing stomach. She seems to be holding back her sickness.

"Well, too late Sydney. Our Dark Lord Voldemort has smiled upon the true Malfoy heirs."

"Really?" Draco looked surprised.

"My guests, I'd like you to meet my family." Lucius moves aside from the doorway. A houes-elf, everyone seems to recognize, magically pulls a baby carriage. Inside are twins, sleeping soundly. One in pink and one in blue. Each holding a stuffed serpent doll.

"Oh how cute!!!" Arwen and Becca exclaim.

And then a woman, in a velvet red dress walks in. She seems to be recovering from the birth of the twins

"Kay!" Gem gasps. Her hand is to her mouth.

"Hi everyone," Kay greets, with a smile. "Tiberius, dear, why are our guests still standing. Everyone, please, grab a seat." She waves a wand and chairs appear. Everyone takes their seats. Kay settles herself into a big armchair and Tiberius sits to one side. The baby carriage is next to him. Then Kay says, "Sprinkles, please bring some butterbeer for our guests." The house-elf disappears back to the doorway.

"But Kay, you weren't pregnant when the headmistress was on vacation. How could you have given birth to twins, not to mention get married, in less than a month," Arwen says.

"Tiberius and I had a private wedding at the beginning of my short time away from the castle. It was just the family there. My dear brother-in-law was best man." Kay smiles and gives Draco a squeeze. Sprinkles had returned and walks around with her tray of butterbeeer bottles.

"But you said your family was in town and you had to entertain. You said you went to wine and oyster country." Arwen still sounds confused.

"You're right. My family was in town. But saying I went to wine and oyster country would have been shorter than explaining where I really was. My family had flown in for the wedding."

"Wait, what about the babies?" Summer asks.

"The Dark Lord was at our wedding and seeing how we were continuing the old wizarding blood and how he needed Death Eater babies, he helped us in our pregnancy. He's not the only one skilled in potion making." She looks over to Snape. "He concocted a potion that helped speed up the gestation of my little ones. Of course, not without its pain. I was bed-ridden since my family left until their birth two days ago. That's why you haven't seen me around the castle lately. Here. Let me introduce you to the Dark Lord's first Death Eater babies."

  


Tiberius hands Kay the baby in pink. The baby stirs a little but remains asleep. "This is Helen," Kay says. Tiberus then picks up Helen's brother. The new mother beams at her new son. "And this is Hector," Tiberius said.

"So is this the guy you were dating for seven years?" Gem asks with a smirk.

"Yes he is." The young couple look lovingly into each other's eyes. "Now he's my husband. And these darlings here are the rightful heirs to the Malfoy fortune and the future leaders of Voldemort's Death Eaters."

*POP* The guy friends and Damien appear in the living room of Legionnaire Estate. They're still weirded out from the trip.

"Good, everyone's here," Tiberius said, getting up. "Now we can start the process of choosing godparents for the twins."

______________________________________________________________________________

  


mwahahaha!

  


-Summer :)


	6. And They Boinked Happily Ever After

Voldemort, who was looking hot and young, and still had his shirt off, was sitting in a chair across frm Summer in that room that they were...in that mansion...yes. That is where they all were now.

"Hey Summer," Voldy said sexily (haha is that a word? Meh). "Come over heee-ah an show me some luvin --- WHA??????"

He had finally noticed the handsome man standing over Summer.

"WHO IS THAT?" he hissed, standing up and whipping out his wand. He aimed it at the tall, dark, and handsome dream boy of Summer's.

"I'm Summer's dream guy," he replied.

"I honestly have no idea what he's talking about," Summer added. "But he's nice to look at, so I let him tag along with us."

"Do you have a name?" Voldemort asked darkly.

Summer's dream guy replied, "Jack."

"KJDHKDHJKBHSJKO&I^TIUYK%*&%GV!!!!!!!" said Voldemort. Jack took off his shirt. So did Lucius. And Tiberian. And Draco. And Damina :P Then they all began to fight with no shirts on. The girls watched on dreamily. "I'm totally crushing," said Kay, playing with her baby's tiny hands, and going, "Pooky pooky poo...a boogity boogity boo...who is so cute? You are! Yes you are, you cute lil bobbobobobobgitybooo!"

Just then, Syd went into labour.

"Oh darn!" she said. "My baby is gonna come out right now!"

"Oh darn!" Everyone else echoed. The boys wrestled on.

"Lets get her to a hospital," aid Manda. "An Evil Hospital."

"Righto," said Racy A, then she snapped her fingers. The girls all arrived at an Evil Hospital, located somewhere evil.

"Yay!" said Syd. "I could really use a doctor right now. I think my water just broke." She looked down to the floor.

"Ewwwwww...." everyone else said, stepping away from Syd and her puddle of uterus juice.

"I am a doctor," said a man. There stood Percy Weasley.

"You're a doctor?" asked Gem. "But you were supposed to be working for the MoM."

"Nope," said Percy.

Everyone shrugged. 

"Noooooo," said Syd. "Don't let that thing touch me down there!"

"But I'm a doctor," said Percy.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Syd, and she ran away.

"Oh no!" said Gem. "We've lost Syddie! And the boys are gone! And we're in an evil place! And Syd is gonna have her baby! And I don't know where Snape is, but wasn't he supposed ot marry Summer?! Aaaah! I left my boyfriend in Hawaii!!!"

Suddenly all the boys arrived at the evil hospital you aint leavin me behind…lol

Everybody started looking frantically for syd inside the evil hospital. 

"have you found her" said racy-A

"erm, no. but I did find these things to put in my evil collection" replied Lucius holding up hippy earmuffs, a purple sythe, and something that looked very much like a miniature house elf…but wasn't.

"hmm...if you were syd where would you hide?" summer was in deep thoughts.

"i dont know"

"I DO!!!" shouted Gem

"Where?!! TELL US HO!" tiberius was screming...

"IN THE FRIDGE!!"!! 

"With the ice cream!!!!" damian hit himself on the head "whdy didnt i think of it before!" 

Everybody ran to the kitchens and opened the fridges door. (it was a humongeous freezer...) And there was syd with a little baby in her arms, feeding it chocolate ice cream with a spoon!

"aww isnt it cute! it likes chocolate!" syd said!

"are you sure you shouldnt be erm...you know...giving him his calcium from somewhere else?" Draco asked.

"him?!" summer asked "how do you know its a him?" 

"oh. erm...i dont." 

"HA! sexist" summer pointed her finger at draco. 

"So syd! what is it?" Lucious asked.

"what...oh! right! yeah! sex! i mean..gender! erm...i dunno...let me check...OMG!!" she screamed.

"what is it?" Damian asked.

"It...it...dsnt have a gender"

"WHAT" the whole group screamed in unison.

"how can it not have a gender! it has to have a gender...or it wouldnt be a human..." Kris said

"maybe its not a human...Syd?" gem asked. Syd had started to cry, Lucius was totally confused. 

"What do you mean! not a human! i am that baby's father! i mean, i made it" Lucius's comment made Syd cry harder. 

"It wasnt supposed to happen this way." she started to murmur. "no..it cant be happening! i...i..." 

"you what?!" Lucius was angry."You mean to say that i am not this childs father?" 

"Im sorry" syd cried out.

"YOUR SORRY!!" Lucius was totally furious. Kris and Becca had to hold him behind to stop him from charging at Syd!.

"That dsnt matter anymore" Manda said matter-of-factly. "syd! just tell us who is the father or your gender-less baby!"

"it was...it was.." Syd was still sobbing, and also still spoon feeding her new born baby chocolate ice cream in the freezer. "it was...THE GARDNER!" 

"THE GARDNER?!...you mean..that...thing?!..." Draco whined.

"what thing? .." 

"The gardner." 

"no shit sherlock" Summer said sharply.

"well she asked me what it was!" 

"GOSH!! STUPID LITTLE FUCK#$R! WHAT SPECIES WAS THE FLICKING GARDNER!" Kris screamed.

"Oh..he was a..."

Suddenly Carrie pops back into the scene with a very gorgeous ex-lumberjack with very built shoulders and ripply belly wearing a tight pair of cut off jeans...What the hell am i doing in a evil hospital?? last time i seen u'all I was in the North West Territories..Hmmm..me thinks i was forgotten...meh oh well..Everyone i'd like u to meet Joshua....EEEKKK!! Syd what is that that umm...is that ur baby??? I thought Lucious was the father?? is that was draco looks like too???

  


well piped up somebody...Draco does have a thing but he's informed us it was broke and a little bendy..***DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT***

Lucious Malfloy screams...This is NOT My baby...It's the GARDNERS!!!

The gardners??? What gardner??? There was a gardner on the boat???? Or were u meaning that strange looking creature who was trying to grow seaweed food for the crew??? Syd u slept with that evil thing???

Kay approaches Summer with a vial of crimson liquid. Kay smiles.

"Summer, because the Dark Lord helped us with our kids, I'd like you to have this potion. It's from the St. Louis clan. One of my great great great great great great uncles was...shall we say...broken. He created this potion to help himself out. And let's say that he got carried away and made a barrel. They say that with age, it gets better...kinda like balsamic vineger. It's better than those weak muggle fertility drugs. This is the last vial. Let him drink it and you get one chance. Have fun!"

Gem and Carrie jump up and down, and exclaim, "Summer's getting a boinking tonight! Summer's getting a boinking tonight!"

"Hello! Virgin ears!" Kay points to Helen and Hector, who were girgling in their baby carriages.

"Oh," Gem and Carrie say quietly. They continue to jump, but lighter. Then they whisper as quietly as possible, "Summer's getting a boinking tonight! Summer's getting a boinking tonight!"

Tiberius whispers over to Voldemort, "There's a guest room upstairs, 5th door to the right." They wink at each other knowingly.

"Did you say...wha?" Snape asked, walking away from Racy A.

"Summer's getting a boinking tonight," Gem whispered to him.

Snape scoffed. "Well, I never!" he said.

"Summer, darling," said Voldemort, taking a sip from the vial thingy, "I have a surprise for you!"

"I want a surprise," said Draco, moping. "I never get surprises."

"Oh, I'll get your a surprise, ickly Dracokins!" said Syd lovingly. She conjured a big, fluffy bunny out of thin air and gave it to Draco. Draco held it in one hand, raised an eyebrow at it, and threw it across the room. "I want a bigger one," he said snootily.

"Spoiled brat," Tiberius muttered under his breath.

"Excuuuuuuse me?" said Syd, standing up and shaking a finger at Tiberius.. "Tiberius, be nice to your brother."

Tiberius hung his head in shame. "Yes'um," he said.

Meanwhile, Snape had begun to fight Voldemort. "She's mine!" Snape yelled, pulling on Voldemort's hair.

"No she's not," Voldemort yelled back, twisting Snape's arm behind his back. "She's MINE!"

They continued to take off their shirts and wrestle. So did every other boy in the fic.

Kay seemed confused. "Why are they taking off their shirts?" she asked.

"It's just a thing that Summer does when she writes fics," answered Manda. "I think it's brilliant."

Summer, however, immediately stopped the fight.

"Tut tut," she said, walking soulfully between the two. "Voldy-poo, might I speak with Severus alone for just one moment?"

"No," replied Voldemort.

"No?" Summer asked, glaring at him. "Let me do what I want to do, Tom."

"No," he replied. "I am your Lord. You shall do as I say."

"Uh oh," whispered Becca. "This isn't turning out so well."

"Dag, yo," said Arwen.

Summer and Voldemort continued to argue.

"How DARE you try to order me around with this 'I am your Lord' mumbo jumbo. Nobody orders me around unless I want them to!"

It was then that Voldemort rose to a great height, and became but a shadow cloaked in a dark...er...cloak. He seemed to rise above the entire crowd of Death Eaters, and he hissed menacingly at Summer. "Dost thou dareth to defy me??" (hehe did I say that right? :P) His voice boomed like thunder.

Summer shrunk down in her spot. "Meep!" she said. "I mean, uh...no..." 

"Come hither, simpleton!" Voldemort demanded. "Come forth and be boinked!"

Summer hesitantly walked towards him. Voldemort grabbed her by the arm, and with a loud, 'POP!' they were gone.

"Noooooooooooooo," said Snape. "We have to save her!"

"Dag, yo," said Arwen.

So snape set out to convince everyone of his plan. He must disguise himself in Neville Longbottems Grandma's clothes. He figured that Voldemort would probalby want to finish off the rest of the family. As he doned the Fruit Filled Hat Draco gaped at his heroish teacher...Prof. Snape.."What are u doing??" Draco screamed.

"Shhhhh." said Syd. and immediatly conjured up a blow up orli doll for Draco...

"THANKS MOM! i love it!! " said Draco.

"Becca ( was it becca that had will with her on the boat??? well We'll just say it was now..if it was wrong somebody can fix it) ran over and stole the doll and wondered where Will Turner went..Draco went into fit of cries...

Snape was now trying to walk up the stairs to the fifth floor in high heels and be none too successful at it. Gem and Carrie ran behind him chanting "Summer's getting a boinking tonight and u aint' gonna stop it, SUmmer's getting a boinking tonight and u ain't gonna stop it!"

Snape roared..."Summer my love...He is pocessing you! Do not heed to his demanding words!"

As he gets closer he hears in the room on the fifth floor something that sounds like.....

It sounded like fore-boinking! Carrie suddenly had a giggle attack and fell over, rolling around on the plush carpet. Gem stopped chanting and watched, slightly scared now, as Snape grew livid and his eyes widened in horror. Like a bat he flew to the 78th door on the right and reached out for the handle…

Farther down the hall everyone (even remotely-even if mentioned just once) involved in the fanfic was approaching with caution: Amanda, Syd, Gem, Carrie, Becca, Kirsten, Kay, Jess, Damian, Will Turner, Jack Sparrow, Lucius and Draco Malfoy, Chica, Jack the monkey, the Three Broomsticks security guards, Terence Higgs, Marcus Flint, Viktor Krum, some drunk ghost pirate sailors, a vampire (possibly Lestat), Neville Longbottom, a moose, a dead female muggle lumberjack, a fine guy named Danny, some bears, a toucan that turned into the man of Summer's dreams, the owner of a sex toy shop, Tiberius, Kay's twins, Syd's freezer baby, Percy Weasley, and *deep breath* the Gardner. 

Then Arwen shot past them, knocking over the vampire and Jack Sparrow, and got to the door just as Snape had opened it, Snape entered the room after being shoved by Racy A and the door closed behind them. Faint shouting could be heard, then a flash of red and green sparks could be seen from under the door. Syddie and Kay hugged their babies tight (and covered their lil ears), and Gem and Manda exchanged looks. The group started to murmur. "SHHHH-let's see what's goin on!" said Carrie. They reached the door and heard two female voices say in a super-human volume, "YOU WILL NOT DEFY THE WOMEN OF SLYTHERIN!" Then there could be heard an assortment of noises, mainly "OW!", "Damnit", "Lemme go", "Don't make me get Harry Potter in here!", and then some chains rattling. And finally a voice carried out of the room:

"Summer, I love you, and I die a little every time we are apart. And when you cheat on me. Will you make me the happiest potions master in the world, and agree to give me your beautiful, delicate hand in holy matrimony until death do us part?"

"Jesus man, YES! Now shut up and let's make death eater babies!"

Then the door opened and out walked Snape with a smiling Summer in his arms.

"Holy fwak-look at that ROCK!" exclaimed Becca, pointing at gorgeous, emerald engagement ring on Summer's finger.

"Where's Racy A, and what happened to Voldemort?" asked Damian.

"Right here" said Arwen as she stepped out of the room smirking, holding a chain. A somewhat meek-looking Tom Riddle followed with the chain around his neck, head down. They all headed outside, into the sunset…

~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:

…1 Month Later…

It was a nice summer day, and by the lake of Candelit Craft stood several students, faculty, and other characters. A deaf priest stood by a lovely, flower-covered alter, speaking to several couples.

"And wuv, twue wuv, wi fowow wou faweva." Some people looked confused.

"Do wu Summa, take this man to be wour husband?"

"I do."

"Do wu, Sevewus, take this woman to be wour wife?"

"I do."

But the priest didn't stop there; he continued on to ask the same question for Becca and Will, Jack and Manda and Gem, Draco and Voldemort (who's back was being prodded by a shot gun held by Racy A), Danny and Kirs, Syd and Lucius (renewal of vows), Kay and Tiberius (same deal), and Carrie and the Gardner.

After everyone said their I do's, there was much rejoicing. Hugs and kisses were thrown everywhere, and everyone was shouting and reveling. But suddenly Summer stopped and shouted:

"WAIT A SEC! What kind of reception would this be if we didn't have the traditional man-wrestling?"

"True dat!" said Becca. Gem smiled and hit her champagne glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention. When the whole group was quiet, Arwen stepped forward and said "You know what to do, boys."

So Lucius, Draco, Tiberius, Tom Riddle, Danny, Snape, the Gardner, Jack, and Will ripped off their shirts and began to wrestle in the jimmy-filled mudpit.

"Well," said Manda with a sigh, "I think we all got some Summer love"

"True dat" echoed the girls as they looked on blissfully. 

True dat

  


~Fin~

______________________________________________________________________________

  
  


I hope you enjoyed it :)

  


-Summer


End file.
